I had fallen asleep at 9PM earlier this evening, and as it always happens, I am up every four to five hours later. Oh, what I would do for an undisturbed 7-hour sleep.
Maybe I am still suffering from insomnia. It is just after 2AM now and I can’t go back to sleep after being awake about an hour ago.
For the umpteenth time today (earlier yesterday?), I decided to go on a social-media detox. A digital detox is impossible given my need for news and reading materials from the internet. I have come to realise—yes, for the umpteenth time, too—that my addiction for Twitter, Facebook and Instagram has becoming a little unhealthy, that I decided to take a drastic measure of deleting all those social media apps from my iPhone—again, not the first time I have done this. This time around though, I add a self-imposed restriction of blocking those social media websites from the browser; I enabled the Restriction setting on my phone. That also means, no “Adult Content” websites. (Ahem)
I have tried social media detox multiple times in the past, only to fail miserably. The only time I succeeded being away from social media, was when I was subjected to a no-phone signal situation in the middle of the sea during a live-aboard diving trip; I guess that doesn’t count. It is rather sad, to think that I, supposedly someone with “enough intelligence” to not be so distracted, can have little control over my desire for soaking up information and (sometimes useless) updates from strangers and friends I follow on these social media platforms.
Then again, intelligence plays such little role when it comes to an addiction. The drug and sex addicts, or any addicts out there, would agree.
So, there it is. Now that I have announced it on the blog of my intention to stay away from social media for, oh let’s try 14 days for now, and perhaps, if I could handle it, for 30 days, I shall be accountable for my action. I am doing this for me, because never have I felt so…out of control with the need to “connect” online; I know I am not the only one when I read up on “social media addiction” on the internet. (Thanks Mr U “The Editor” for suggesting I put this intention up on my blog!)
It is Day 1 so far, and I found myself itching at this ungodly hour to run to my home-office with the iPad to check on Twitter, like I usually do, because I can’t access those sites on my iPhone now. Like an addict usually on crack, I could feel myself physically fighting the urge to cave in.
But I refrained. I CAN do this.
Instead, I went to The New York Times website and started reading their articles. Then, somehow, I ended up on a personal and anonymous blog from Singapore by a female writer, that reminded me so much of a blog by a certain (male) writer I used to read, also from Singapore. It reminded me why I used to “blog-walk” and found inspiration to write my thoughts online, back in the early days of my blogging. Their blogs read like personal journals of writers with mad skills in stringing words, writing beautiful prose of their thoughts. Sadly, those guys hardly write anymore. (That’s you, T, with your deleted site, and DW with your blog).
[Segue: At this point, I realised that it is mainly the desire for distraction that I often fulfil by going on those social media platforms. I have instead now replaced scrolling social media feeds with reading…blogs and news. At least I hold my attention span longer reading each articles and blog posts, yes? Tiny progress is still a progress, albeit prematurely.]
Reading that blog reminded me that I used to write that way. I used to write from the heart, often with no inhibition. This blog was—and still is—my playground. I have recently started getting back into it, as some of you may have noticed.
So, if you’re still reading this, expect a mix of writing chaos, the brain-dump, word-vomit style of personal entries, as well as short fictions, from time to time. If you’re sticking around, thank you, and feel free to comment, as some of you have done so, both privately and here in the comment section. Those feedback are often what keep me going. If you are not sticking around, thank you for stopping by when you did.
It’s almost 3AM now by the time I finish writing this post. Thankfully, there is no work tomorrow with the Christmas long-weekend coming up. I plan to catch up on the previous six Star Wars movies, starting with Episode IV: A New Hope, before I go and see Episode VII: The Force Awaken next week. (Oh, shush. Better late than never.)
As for those additional times I would hopefully gain from being away from social media, I intend to read the many books gathering dust on my bookshelf, as well as catching up on all the movies and TV series I have yet to see. As it is, I probably need to retire early to read all the books and watch the movies I want as it is.
Back to sleep, for now.
[Written at between 2AM-3AM this morning, edited and posted approximately six hour later of 24th December 2015]