Earlier today, as I was driving at 120kph down the toll road to work, the topic on Hardrock FM morning show was “Finding the One”. The questions asked were in the likes of”Do you believe in the One”, “How hard is it to find the One”, etc.
It turned out most people, in Jakarta at least, do not believe in the ‘one’. Most of the listeners texted or spoke about their dealings with finding the one. In some cases, a few had thought they found the One, until it turned out to be false alarm. One listener was even three months into the wedding day, when the girl cheated on him and decided, that was it for both of them (mind you, both apparently have cheated on separate occassions, this time, the girl happened to do it one time too many).
But then, there was also the rare case of a listener, who just knew when he met his wife-to-be and they are happily married, for 15years and still going.
Perhaps, those who don’t believe in the One are the ones who got stung by this love shit.
Mind you, that got me wondering.
What’s the definition of the One?
Does it have anything to do with “Timing”?
Is it just a feeling of “I just know”?
Are we dellusional and just accept the idea into our heads?
As for yours truly, right now, I don’t know if I still believe in the concept of the One. I would like to say I do, but truthfully, I don’t know.
I thought I have found the one, the one that ticks you in the right way, the one that laughs at your jokes when you expected, the one that makes you laugh. The one that knows what you are thinking (yet probably not quite willing to give in to what I was thinking), the one that hugs you when you need to.
I thought I had it all figured out. But I was wrong.
While that person has (or had) the qualities that I mentioned above, I expected more, and possibly created this image of the ideal person, instead of accepting that person for who he is. Which is the classic mistakes.
When you fall in love, you are so infatuated for the first few months, nothing about the other person bothers you. After a while, you started to see their flaws, which you probably accept. After some accepted level of time, you see more flaws, and that’s when you decided tit for tat.
Maybe, after a certain point, neither party is willing to budge beyond a certain point and the relationship breaks down. Maybe that’s when you realise you do not love the person that much for that you are not willing to compromise
But then, both parties can say the same right?
“If you love me, you’ll compromise x”.
“well, if YOU love me, you will let me have x”
He was right when he told me to really look into himself really close and see whether it is all that I wanted. Look into him really really closely.
It’s still what I wanted, plus slightly more. I just want to be someone who thinks I am important enough to stick around with.
Maybe we both have different expectations. Maybe we both are dellusional. Maybe the timing is wrong. Maybe we are guilty of wanting the other one to be the ideal image of what we think.
Maybe he is still the one. Maybe he is not. Maybe the One is still out there. Or maybe he is turning into the One, just like a worm in a cacoon turning into a butterfly one day.
Maybe I need get a grip. Maybe I am still dellusional.
Cest la vie.