They said timing is everything, and there is nothing like one’s birthday to reflect on life.
I turn another year older as I write this. The New Year’s celebration is still fresh in mind, and so are the resolutions. It almost feels like I get to celebrate a new beginning twice in the month of January.
When I wrote my last post to reflect on 2012, I had one major goal for the new year, which would eventually end the last 18-months period I referred to as my sabbatical. And that is, to finally start on a project in the family business, that would involve me applying some of the things I learned from those years working in the corporate world.
Wait, Wait…What?! I thought you made peace with the whole thing last year after talking to your mother?
The truth is, I never said never to working with the family. The truth is, I was probably 15 when I realised that I would one day want to do this (I just didn’t know it yet). If I wanted to be really honest, I was probably buying time…time to feel ready to take up the challenge?
It took some time and a lot of digging inside for me to realise and finally come to this conclusion. This included talking to a friend who said this to me, upon hearing how anxious I was feeling:
“Is it the feeling that there’s something else you should be doing and you’re still not doing?”
And how right he was.
The anxiety I had at that time, talking to my mother, was because I wasn’t done exploring. I needed to keep exploring. And I felt that, had I say yes to her back then, I would just be doing it to keep her happy, regardless how I felt.
I felt like I had to give up everything that was important to me, back then.
And I’m glad I kept on going because everything that happened in the second half of last year was more than anything I could have ever asked for, especially with all the travelling I got to do in Indonesia.
This time around, strangely, even to me, I want to do it, not just for my family, but…for me. The timing is right, and more importantly, it felt right.
Maybe I was meant to do all those things I did in the last 18 months. May be I was meant to “run away” from it all, go out, explore and finally come back home, ready to do something more substantial with my life.
Who knows. But, if there was anything to go by from the last couple of years, is do what feels right. Trust your hunch. Do what excites you, even if it scares you.
This new journey scares me. It makes me feel anxious. There’s a lot of uncertainty ahead. But apparently, uncertainty is a good. It’s a sign that you should be doing it. As crazy as that sounds, I know.
Coincidentally, I also read this line from Edward Suhadi’s latest post yesterday, one that resonates so much with what I am feeling right now. (A really good post that I highly recommend you to read)
“The right things will either bump you on your path or they will come knock on your door when you are ready.”
He is making history, realising his dreams, one step at a time.
And here I am, treading carefully, trying to make another dream come true.
Timing is everything. This time, I think I am ready.
PS: And In case you are wondering, I am not abandoning my travel, writing or photography. I am still going to be around (here, on the blog), and taking up some travel and writing related projects on the side, when time within my main work allows it.